Having the privilege of listening to many profound and deep conversations with people that were dying, as well as those grieving was something that I loved while working in hospice as a counselor. During this time of year when the leaves blow strong in the wind, one story resonates deeply with me.
A dying man said to his spouse, “God sure does make dying look beautiful,” as he watched the leaves let go of its life source. The strength that came from that man created a space for the surviving spouse to think differently about letting go. While the pain of the loss was felt deeply, the falling of the leaves served as a reminder of the beauty in the release.
Navigating the weight of grief during the changing of the season from autumn to winter can be powerful. With darker days, it can feel incredibly isolating when grieving, amplifying the absence of loved ones. If the longest night is thought of as a turning point, we can more easily think of it as a moment to honor what has been lost and, as we prepare to welcome each day’s increasing daylight, it can serve as a reminder that no season lasts forever.
So, as we welcome the new year, look for the light as a marker for renewal. In grief, this can feel strange, even unwelcoming, but it can be an invitation to begin creating new meaning and purpose while honoring your loss. The New Year does not bring cures but companions, gently nudging you forward and honoring your pain while slowly opening up to new possibilities.
Set an intention that honors your loved one in a gentle, nurturing way.
- Honor the darkness of the winter season by lighting a candle in memory of your loved one.
- Release and renew by writing down your thoughts and feelings, gently burn or bury it in the earth to symbolize releasing what you no longer need to carry.
- Embrace nature by spending time among the trees or forest. The grounding energy of the cold may provide a sense of steadiness amid your sorrow.
- Lastly, welcome the light. As each day marks the return of more light, set an intention of hope. Even though grief may not fully fade, warmth and joy can find its way back to you.
These gentle acts can offer solace and help ease a heavy heart, allowing you to carry forward both the memory of your loved one and a sense of renewal. And as you carry your loved one’s memory during the letting go of the autumn’s leaves, let this transition from one season to the next be a reminder that even in grief, life holds the potential for change, growth, and, eventually, peace.
Lisa Story, Guest Columnist
Lisa Story, a nature enthusiast, is the founder of Hope Grows, a non-profit organization Cultivating Caregiver Wellness. A Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Thanatologist, Lisa’s professional experience in grief & bereavement and the connection to the natural world has led her to the path of the non-profit. She also holds Certificates in Addictions Counseling and Horticultural therapy.